Growth’s Tension

I fell back into an old version of myself yesterday. I thought I had put her away years ago. But all of a sudden, there she was again. Ugh. I was so mad at myself. How could I have let it happen?

She represented everything I didn’t want to be anymore: awkward, unsure, small, afraid of her own voice, limited by her own self-doubt.

But then I stopped running from her.

I turned around and looked her in the eyes. And I showered her with the compassion I withheld from her back then. I told her I loved her and I was proud of her. I told her she was brave for trying new things and for wading through the painful tension of growth. I told her she was worth the adoration she craved so badly for. And that she didn’t have to try so hard to get it anymore.

And it was so, so healing.

Maybe you need to hug an old version of yourself today, too.